My family is crap. The bestest line for the day from my own mother would be,
"I don't trust you at all." So what's the point in telling the truth to them people now? Because they are not going to believe you, even if you're innocent.
So by all means, label me as the bad seed. The one daughter you were never proud of, the one you're ashamed of, the failure, the one who supposedly cheats, steals and lies. The one not worthy of anyone's trust. AH YE LA. SEMUA KAN SALAH AKU. AKU KAN JAHAT. AKU KAN BAWAK MAHSIAT DALAM RUMAH NIE. SEMUA AKU LA KIREKAN.
Why don't you just throw me out of this house, wouldn't that be fantastic? Because then I will finally be in places where I actually feel like I belong, a family I feel a part of. Instead of how insignificant and low you make me feel.
You want to read my diary so much? SURE GO AHEAD! I will photocopy every page of every diary I ever kept, and bind it all together just for your leisure. I will print every entry on my blogs and add it to the collection as well.
YOU ARE A HIGHLY EDUCATED MOTHER. SO WHICH PART OF PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND GOD DAMN IT?!
Oh if you want, I can print this page out just for you too. WOULDN'T THAT BE FUCKING LOVELY?!
And please la Cik Johari, don't come into my room telling us some bullshit about "don't embarrass my family". It is so tak perlu, tak kena mengena. It's irrelevant please.
FUCK. YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. F-U-C-K. Y-O-U. C-I-B-A-I.
This is where I portray the many unfolding chapters of my life, in mute.