There will always be a part of you which makes one decision, a decision you have thought through at the back of your head over and over, convincing yourself that you can handle it. You can handle the truth. But when you begin clicking away while your heart begins to accelerate as you anticipate what's about to unfold right before your eyes, it stops loading. You hover the arrow over those few words, click, and then, something you were supposed to handle but in the end, this sinking feeling succumbs everything else around you. Your heart hits rock bottom, and then you begin to choke on your own tears.
It's not the feeling of sadness, or guilt, or hurt or anything particular at all. Just this feeling that's incomprehensible. A feeling that states "Damn, I never should have..".
But it's okay. Not like it's going to be an issue anyway.
This is where I portray the many unfolding chapters of my life, in mute.