Every person in this world has a baggage attached to themselves everywhere they go. And it all depends on each one individual to deal with it and move on.
Life hasn't been great so far. In fact, it's one downfall I'm trying my best to stand up from. One after another, and it all contributes from every angle of my life. And I'm not quite sure how to fix things this time. It's all about disappointments, betrayals, lies, and trust.
Trust. It's always an issue. You can never trust anyone, no one but yourself. At least everything you know is within your own thoughts, and unless someone you know can read minds, all your secrets are safe.
To think that you could lie straight to my face and underestimate my intelligence, thinking that I was borned just yesterday. To treat me as if I'm an insignificant figure in this environment, and make stupid decisions to keep things from me when I'm supposedly a part of it. And when I reacted the way that I did, then only will you be frank and honest with me. I am not some trash you throw at someone else's house without consulting them first when you're leaving for another country "for fun". I have a home I can live in. And my grandmother is just as capable to take care of me how she has always been ever since I was borned. That is not how this family relationship fucking works.
This week, I've been disappointed by different aspects in life. I've stood up for myself more than enough times. I reacted in the most shocking way nobody expected from me, but it felt good. Because finally for once in my life, I have a voice. And I made a damn point that it mattered more than they think.
Everybody wants me to fail, wants to see how much of a failure I am. Everybody wants me to become the person who doesn't have any respect, wants me to be the one who steals and lies. Everyone doubts my abilities, and treats me as if I'm just a little child. I've always kept my emotions to myself because I always thought that these decisions you make are all for my own good. But I am not a criminal, I am not a juvenile delinquent, I am not a 5 year old. so stop treating me like one. I've had enough of you people stepping all over me. So just because I keep my mouth shut does not mean I am all ok with it.
One big happy family? That's bullshit. Because I stopped believing in that a very long time ago.
And after 18 years, I'm making use of my own voice. I'm standing up for myself, my own rights.
And You thought me that.
This is where I portray the many unfolding chapters of my life, in mute. 