It has been some time since I last posted an entry here. Now when I come back and type flowingly, I tend to forget how much I used to love blogging. It didn't matter if I was as free as a bird, or busy like always, I always had time to post a little, even though it was one little sentence or an endangered non-sophisticated word.
Life has been getting a little better each day. I guess I realised that for a moment, I had closed up every inch of opening in my body. I never allowed anyone new in, I didn't give room for any more changes. Maybe that was why I felt so detached from everyone else. The fact that having a classroom of racist bastards and selfish pricks remains unchanged, I guess I'm living quite alright with the all time favourite lab partner and greatest helper. I've been making an effort to make it for all my classes, even the 8am lectures. Wooo.
So much has happened, and I've been learning to accept new changes slowly. I still miss my very first year in this school. Not afraid to make new friends, join them with the old ones. When we were all together. So simple. Now everyone's, either graduated, separated, forbid from being friends anymore, or in other specialisations. I miss Dyla, and our clan. I still remember the very first time we ditched school just to go to Sentosa, just the four of us. Our first outing since we started school 3 weeks earlier. We were supposed to be friends forever. But slowly each one of us started to drift apart, the only ones left are just the two of us. I know I don't say it much, but I miss her, and the minah, as everyone keeps grasping on to that impression.
Maybe that's what each of us has to go through in life. I lost a lot of friends ever since I stepped into poly life, but along the way, I gained some new ones. Really great ones I can never find in many lifetimes. And for them to stay with me through thick and thin, I guess I'm really grateful. Hearing stories about how you'll find your soulmate right here, I never thought that could be true considering the many failed attempts at it. But eventually, well, I found mine, hoping that it'll last forever and ever.
Perhaps that's how life is. You grow up, every single day, but it takes years to make that happen. You get your heart broken many times, you lose people who matter to you the most, you find love. And that for every downfall, a happy ending somehow comes out from it. It's pretty much hard to comprehend how, but it does.
This is where I portray the many unfolding chapters of my life, in mute.