It's 2:27am in the morning, but I'm far from tucking in and resting. My first paper's in less than 4 days, but I'm not sure rather if I'm 110% confident in scoring well for my paper.
4 days, in just 4 days. And I'm not that ready. Yet. It's already Friday the 13th, and if I sleep now, I'll probably be awake in 8 hours. It'll take me an hour to get dressed and head out. One hour to settle down, another 30 minutes for play time while waiting for the rest to arrive. Half way, two hours wasted for lunch/dinner or whatever's left of it at the cafeteria. By the time we're done with our meals, we could be too full and bloated to resume studying because whatever we'll be learning or drilling in our heads would go in one ear and escape through the other. And if I stay home, I'll probably keep feeding myself while I'm locked inside my room studying, WITH the laptop laying on my bed facing me, the same song blasting from the speakers.
And we're spending weeks and hours and so much effort for 3 papers worth 2 hours each. Just for 3 pathetic papers which determines the path towards the final year of our poly years. I'm still deciding if it's all worth it. Because at the end of it all, everyone's going their separate ways into the working world. It's scary to think about it sometimes.
I should stop eating so much crappy food. That ideal figure in my head is getting far from my reach. Maybe it's time I get back to the routine I used to have last semester when I managed to lose 6kg in less than 2 months. Trust me, it was a miraculous thing for me. Because all of a sudden my old clothes fit!
I guess I've set my goals for the next few months.
1) I have to quit procrastinating and study more for my upcoming papers and hopefully pass all my modules so I'll have a clean final year.
2) I have to maintain my healthy and balanced diet (pfft, giving up food is never me) and get back to shape because if i get fatter i will get a heart attack and if I accidentally fell I would look like some nangka busuk falling. (now recall what happened at the smoking bridge's staircase while going to school with Mar and Hakim, hehehe).
3) I need to find myself a job so that I can go shopping with my girls and don't have to depend so much on my dad for my expenses other than my allowance. (but if Mommy is nice, she would buy me things! :D)
4) And lastly, I have to bring myself closer to Allah. I don't think I've been such a great person lately, and regular prayers have been neglected so many times. It's time I do something about it. I should go pray at the mosque again like how I used to. It was fun! :)
Now, back to studying. I MEAN IT JANNAH. Bye!
This is where I portray the many unfolding chapters of my life, in mute.