"But you put on quite a show, you really had me going. But now it's time to go, curtain's finally closing. That was quite a show, very entertaining. But it's over now, go on and take a bow."
I still feel stupid about some of things I put myself through. Clinging onto the wrong things is life, telling myself so many lies to spare the heartache and keep believing that it was all ok, and that I had nothing to worry about.
Today depicts the first official day of school since common tests. And I was slacking the whole entireday. I know it shouldn't be the behaviour of a girl who wants to do well for this semester, by skipping her classes or attending them really late, but I couldn't help it. I was feeling restless, and I couldn't lay my butt at one place. I had to keep moving, from place to place and not stop.
There were so many surprises today. And it took Razis more than a year to tell me what's been going on. I couldn't stop thinking about what he said, and constantly had the same questions replaying at the back of mind. The feeling of sadness and remorse subjugated all my other emotions. Because all along, it had never been intentionally, and I had no knowledge of what I had done more than a year ago. Until now.
As if that was bad enough, more was brought upon me this evening. And I was at the verge of bursting into tears when I was told of all the things which I've put aside because I only saw the good side of it all.
This is why people tell me I am a really stupid stupid naive girl, who gives in too much, tends to be too nice at times and allows people to step all over me and take advantage of my kindness. And I agree to such a large extent.
A good 3 hours was spent in the Live Audio's room. It all started with updates and problems, and how we all got to know one another. Soon, we went up to the store room, plugged in the speakers, switched the mixer on and were blasting random music from our mp3 or handphones. We even had little duet sessions while listening to Razis's jiwang songs. It was fun, I tell you. It was fun. Stress freeeeee. :)
We're planning on doing it again this coming Wednesday, and irritate the crap out of the mcg people while they are having their dikir training. Muahahahahaha.
A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders after today. But I know there's just one more thing left for me to do.
Welcome to July, people. :)
And to Faiz, WELCOME BACK MAT REMP-IT! Hehe.
This is where I portray the many unfolding chapters of my life, in mute.