Taken a few weeks ago. Buruk seh muka aku. Masyaallah.My iTunes was on for almost the whole entire day today. I must feel like a pig now, because I didn't do much beneficial deeds at all. I pretty much lazed around on the sofa like a Singaporean version of Cleopatra, loading Friends and movies online, watching them while indulging in my biscuits. It's never a wonder how I gained weight these past few months. It's because of boring days like this, which was more than enough during the previous long term break. It's annoying how people come up to you and say the same things, normally what you hear more than three times each day, regardless if it's said by the people you meet everyday, or the people you hardly meet at all.
Yes. I get it. I am getting so fat. I am very aware of that, thank you very much. So quit rubbing it in already. I'm gonna lose it, so much, then one day when you see me, you'll be all speechless. And if you say it one more time after that, I swear, I will kick the shit out of you. Geesh.
It's funny how the songs keep playing, not in chronological order, and so many scenarios just keep rushing into your head. It's like in every song, there's a different story behind it all. Or perhaps a whole list of songs that could tell a story, just like a novel, where the different songs are the different separate chapters of the book. I think today was the day I reminisced so much. I started to remember the sleepless nights and the burning of the midnight oil during my olevel days, when I was always the last one to enter the examination hall, and the first to leave. When I often made my disappearing act after every paper, and have my friends wonder how did I vapourise from the venue so fast. How I had those really terrible dark rings under my eyes, when sleep and food was just a secondary thing. How having to study every night (but had my personal alarm clock) without taking a break until I was forced to put down those books to have at least 6 hours of sleep in 3 days.
I always love to take a time capsule to the past to look back at what I've been through previously. The times when happiness was always around me, despite the many relationship problems I used to have. When everyone was kept together, before, during and after school hours, when it was so simple and not complicated at all. Times when it was so easy to meet up and have recess breaks together. The exam period, graduation ceremony, prom night, everything. The trips to Changi Beach just to play with the swings, or to East Coast to enjoy the light breeze and watch the sunsets and sunrise, times when we would all gather at Fi's place, watch stupid movies and talk about stuff. Study sessions at Macds, Singapore Post, Parkway's Burker King or KFC, to Bugis just to take neoprints and when we would all fall asleep on the bed with the books still open. I really do miss secondary school. I guess what the teachers used to tell us were true. You make great friends in secondary school, the ones who'll stay with you until the end. Until now, I still have the people I first knew since the first day of school, right by my side. It's been more than 5 years, but we're still inseparable. If true love never dies, then great friendships never ever fade away.
Sometimes I still can't believe that it's been two years since we graduated from secondary school. It feels like only a few weeks ago when we sang our national anthem, pledge, school song and school pledge, really really loudly. Wearing my blue uniform, having Mdm Nooraini comment about the length of my skirt and socks, and how is it that a Malay girl such as myself have so brown hair which is hard to believe that it's natural, running away from having my shirt get drawn on because of tucking it out when I didn't realise. Listening to Mr Nah talking about school values and more nonsensical stuff during family time. Those were the days, those were the days. I wanna go back to those days again, when we were all so kental, so much younger and naive', so carefree, the only worry we had was getting caught by the discipline authorities. I wanna be a little girl again.
It's weird isn't it, how one little topic can have so many branches and have a trail of links to other topics. From using your ears to listen to music which keeps you calm, ends up going years back and reminiscing what was hot during those days. And then start appreciating what you have now, because the past made it happen, even though from time to time you'd wish you could stay in the past forever and not move on to something different, to different paths of life, to the high road.
This is where I portray the many unfolding chapters of my life, in mute. 